WARNING!

This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.

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  • Anybody who has dealt with Deutsche Telekom knows the meaning of despair. But are they really that bad? Which of the following do you regard as the worst thing about Germany?
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RSS FeedGermany in Focus, page 4

  • S**t Happens
    A massive blaze of nearly 70 tons of fertiliser burned down an entire warehouse in Hergatz, Germany, as firefighters struggled for nearly two hours to control it.
  • One For The Road
    Motorist Andrea Becker, 24, lost her licence for drink driving when she was pulled over by police still guzzling down a glass of beer.
  • Hippo Hope
    Animal rights campaigners have launched a worldwide appeal to free a circus hippo being kept in a giant bath tub in southern Germany.
  • Nice Little Learner: Schools 500 GBP Bonus for New Pupils
    A struggling secondary school is paying parents a 500 GBP bounty in Speicher, Germany, if they'll send their children there and help save them from closure.

  • Girls Face Savaged by Danger Dog
    A dog owner is facing jail after his giant mastiff dog savaged an nine-year-old girl's face as she played outside her home in Roth, Germany, say police.
  • Pretty Nippy: Topless Toboggan Girls
    These busty babes were certainly feeling a nip in the air - when they took part in an eye-popping topless sledging contest in Germany.
  • Keeping Mummy
    A horrified landlord has told police how he found the mummified body of an elderly tenant sitting on a stool in his basement apartment nearly a year after he thought he'd moved out.
  • Coo-Dunit: Thieves Nab Rare Pigeons
    Baffled police are trying to track down thieves who broke into a pigeon loft and made off with nearly 100 rare birds.

  • Flatfoot
    A 42-year-old policewoman is fighting for life after she was knocked down by the car she was stopping for speeding in Witten, Germany.
  • Fire A-llama
    Baffled fire fighters had to rescue a trapped llama from a swimming pool when three of the animals escaped from a circus in Bremen, Germany.
  • Scratch Car.
    Frustrated Manfred Siegler was so angry at not being able to find a parking space in his road he scratched 36 cars with a set of keys, say police in Wolfsburg, Germany.
  • Wonder Bar
    A bar in Hamburg, Germany, is offering drinks on the house all night if they reach 10,000 'likes' on their Facebook page.

  • Keysey Lover
    A woman who left a ransom-style note as a Valentine's prank has been warned she could be fined for wasting police time after she sparked a full scale alert.
  • Toxic Shock
    Red-faced firefighters who evacuated a chemical plant in Ludwigshafen, Germany, after discovering a toxic leak cancelled the alert when they discovered the substance was red wine being delivered to the staff restaurant.
  • Fine Whine
    Parents whose teenage children end up in drunk hospital should be fined 100 GBP to cover the cost of their treatment, German MPs have demanded.
  • Hours About a Cut
    Germany's left wing leaders are calling for a shortened 30-hour week with no cut in wages to beat the country's economic crisis.

  • Old Bill
    A Facebook flop who pressed the wrong button and invited thousands of people to his party has been given a 220,000 GBP bill by police who had to break up the event in Magdeburg, Germany.
  • Love at First Bite
    A 14-year-old schoolboy has been ordered to go on the sex offenders' register after giving a classmate a love bite.
  • Pa Two
    A boy on a legal bid to discover her real dad has hit double trouble - after being told it could be either one of identical twins.
  • Donor Kebabbed
    A woman whose father was an anonymous sperm donor has been given the legal right to discover his identity, a court in Hamm, Germany, has ruled.

  • Hot Dogs
    Burger giants McDonald's are currying flavour with German punters - by introducing a special spicy sausage to the range.
  • Vice Little Earner
    A teenage girl who was offered a job in a brothel has received an apology from a recruitment agency in Augsburg, Germany.
  • Sausage Dog
    Animal lovers have been warned after a pet dog died in agony when it ate a sausage stuffed with razor blades during a walk in Nalia, Germany.
  • Alive by a Whisker: Kitten Thrown Down the Rubbish Chute
    This lucky kitten missed death by a whisker when it was chucked 120ft down a rubbish chute at an apartment block in Berlin, Germany.

  • Hot Legs
    Smoker Gunther Schmidt was left in agony when his cigarette lighter exploded in his pocket setting his manhood on fire, say police in Hamburg, Germany.
  • Unclucky Break
    Burglars raiding a chicken farm in Hattingen, Germany, smashed 120 eggs as they were caught red handed trying to flee, say police. Four men have been arrested for attempted theft.
  • Bryan Adams: My Prison Snaps for Amy
    Rocker turned photographer Bryan Adams has talked of the snaps he took for tragic Amy Winehouse to send to her husband while he was behind bars.
  • New Dad Law Gives Joint Custody
    New laws giving single dads joint custody of their children even if the mums oppose it have been passed in Germany.

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Latest News

 

How Boris Becker Was Brougt Low by Cheap TV stunt
Three-time Wimbledon tennis ace Boris Becker has been accused of making himself into a laughing stock by taking part in a cheap publicity stunt this weekend to promote his new book "Life Is Not a Game". The stunt included having a giant bow with two fly swats strapped to his head to play table tennis.

GRIN AND BEAR IT - Brown Bears At The Dentist
With toothache in choppers this size, these brown bears at a German wildlife park had every right to be a bit grizzly.

FORK THAT - Worker turns Fork Lift Into Jousting Lance
German police are investigating after a hyper market worker turned his forklift truck into a jousting device and attempted to spear a fellow worker after a row.

DIRTY THIRTY - Fake Euro Note Warning By Cops
A German corner shop owner saw some of his profits go up in smoke after he accepted payment for a pack of cigarettes with this non-existent 30 Euro note.

MURDER MYSTERY: Did Killer Confess in Novel?
Fugitive Norbert Wieland, 66, has been on the run since his girlfriend Bettina Polzer's body was found at her apartment in Furstenfeldbruck, Germany.

WHITE BLAM MAN - Brit Cheats Death By Seconds in Crane Smash
A British white van man cheated death by seconds in Germany when a falling 130 crane arm cut his truck in half.

UNTRUCKY BREAK: Thief Facing Justice
This smug looking truck thief will soon be facing justice - after speed cameras caught him fleeing the scene in Sarstedt, Germany.

NAZI SHOCK: Death Camp Victims Buried Beside SS Officers
Nazi death camp victims were secretly buried beside SS officers at a German World War II cemetery, outraged historians have revealed.

PICNIC BASKET BABY MURDERED - Baby abandoned in River Danube
A mother whose newborn baby boy was found dead in a picnic hamper with his throat cut is being quizzed by police in Regensburg, Germany.

WE ARE NOT EMU-SED - 7 Police Cars Chase Emu
Heavy handed cops gunned down a six foot tall emu after it escaped from an enclosure in Heimfeld, Germany.

 


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