This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.



  • Anybody who has dealt with Deutsche Telekom knows the meaning of despair. But are they really that bad? Which of the following do you regard as the worst thing about Germany?
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RSS FeedGermany in Focus, page 48

  • Nazi Salute Apology
    A Swiss politician and candidate for the National Assembly has been caught making a Nazi salute on the grounds of former Nazi concentration camp Buchenwald.
  • Coining It In
    Former Arsenal and Westham and Real Madrid legend Davor Suker, 43, has been convicted after making off with valuable antique coins forgotten by another passenger on a British Airways flight from Milan to London.
  • Foul Play
    Stricken teenager Colin Bremner spent all night stuck on a loo in a sports hall in Offenbach, Germany, when a bout of diarrhoea meant he couldn't leave the men's room before staff locked up for the night.
  • The Laws An Ass
    A pair of escaped donkeys made an ass of the law when they brought a motorway to a standstill in Weilerswist, Germany.

  • Final Score
    Football fan Gerhard Bach, 43, died when he was hit by an express train while taking a pee on the tracks in Ruesselheim, Germany, on his way home from a match, say police.
  • Got Talent Row Over 6-y-o Bellydancer
    TV talent show bosses in Germany have been accused of "sexualising" a six-year-old girl who has wowed audiences with her belly dancing.
  • Here We G-oh!
    Randy football fans put on their own display of impressive ball control when they were spotted making love in a stadium packed with more than 30,000 supporters.
  • Fall Guys
    Two brothers plunged forty foot from a motorway bridge when they climbed over railings thinking they were just crash barriers, police in Teisendorf, Germany, have revealed.

  • Lost Weekend
    Organisers of Europe's biggest beer festival are trying to reunit bleary eyed punters with thousands of lost items after this year's Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany.
  • The Crate Escape
    Thousands of bottles of beer caused traffic chaos when they slid off the side of a truck in Munich, Germany, blocking the city centre for hours.
  • Cream Of The Tops
    Scientist Anke Domaske is set to shake up the fashion industry - with a range of clothes made out of milk
  • Drive Drinkers Out
    A poll on drink driving has revealed that more than three quarters of beer-loving Germans want to see a total ban introduced. The survey - conducted by pollsters Emnid - 77 per cent are are in favour of a ban.

  • New Rear is a Pippa
    A plastic surgeon is offering to turn droopy, pear shaped bottoms into a real pip - based on a study of her royal hotness Pippa Middleton's amazing rear end.
  • Chewdunit
    Baffled police have appealed for the owner of a full set of false teeth to come forward after they were found in woods close to Schwert, Germany.
  • Turn Off
    Husband and wife Robert and Gertraud Baum are both facing assault charges after he punched her in the neck and she stabbed him in the hand with scissors during a drunken row over who was in charge of the TV remote control, say police in Abensberg, Germany.
  • Mystery Train
    Baffled police are trying to find a young boy and his father who a train driver claims he saw on the tracks in Straubing, Germany.

  • Sleeping Policemen
    Pie-eyed cyclist Martin Boller, 26, had to be woken up by traffic cops when he crashed his bike and then fell fast asleep in the road in Bonn, Germany.
  • Snow Patrol
    Snowploughs are to become emergency vehicles in Dusseldorf, Germany, where officials are to fit them with flashing blue lights and sirens.
  • Peak Performance
    Dedicated son Joerg Baumgaertner, 26, saved his dad from a mountain ridge after a fall after a five day search by rescue experts had given him up for dead.
  • BILLION GBP Phone Bill
    Pub landlord Uemit Yavuz, 28, was left speechless after he got a mobile phone bill for more than a BILLION GBP.

  • Roped A Dope
    Boxer Arthur Abraham was counted out by traffic cops in Berlin, Germany, when he hit 143 MPH in his Ferrari sports car in a 50 mph zone.
  • Radio Blue
    Two radio reporters have been sacked by Germany's BVB Radio station in Dortmund, after insulting a football referee live on air.
  • Chip Shopped
    Cookery teacher Thorsten Fuerst, 45, has been forced by judges to pay a 1,400 GBP bill from firemen after he set fire to a pan of chips during a domestic science class in Neustadt, Germany.
  • Year We Glow
    Bungling Michael Schmidt, 21, blew his right hand off when a homemade firework he was holding exploded in his garage in Kiel, Germany.

  • Smash In The Attic
    Property developer Konrad Auer nearly started his own one man housing boom - when he found a live World War I artillery shell in the attic of a house he was renovating.
  • Choc-ablock
    Thousands of motorists were halted by a road choc - when 21 tons of liquid chocolate fell off a lorry in Bitburg, Germany.
  • Girl Aloud
    A couple's ear-splitting groans of passion ended when police burst into their home in Stralsund, Germany, after neighbours dialled 999 saying they thought someone was screaming for their life in the house.
  • Im Patient
    A hospital patient dialled 999 for the police when he was left stuck in the loo for hours after a nurse forgot her was there.

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Latest News


How Boris Becker Was Brougt Low by Cheap TV stunt
Three-time Wimbledon tennis ace Boris Becker has been accused of making himself into a laughing stock by taking part in a cheap publicity stunt this weekend to promote his new book "Life Is Not a Game". The stunt included having a giant bow with two fly swats strapped to his head to play table tennis.

GRIN AND BEAR IT - Brown Bears At The Dentist
With toothache in choppers this size, these brown bears at a German wildlife park had every right to be a bit grizzly.

FORK THAT - Worker turns Fork Lift Into Jousting Lance
German police are investigating after a hyper market worker turned his forklift truck into a jousting device and attempted to spear a fellow worker after a row.

DIRTY THIRTY - Fake Euro Note Warning By Cops
A German corner shop owner saw some of his profits go up in smoke after he accepted payment for a pack of cigarettes with this non-existent 30 Euro note.

MURDER MYSTERY: Did Killer Confess in Novel?
Fugitive Norbert Wieland, 66, has been on the run since his girlfriend Bettina Polzer's body was found at her apartment in Furstenfeldbruck, Germany.

WHITE BLAM MAN - Brit Cheats Death By Seconds in Crane Smash
A British white van man cheated death by seconds in Germany when a falling 130 crane arm cut his truck in half.

UNTRUCKY BREAK: Thief Facing Justice
This smug looking truck thief will soon be facing justice - after speed cameras caught him fleeing the scene in Sarstedt, Germany.

NAZI SHOCK: Death Camp Victims Buried Beside SS Officers
Nazi death camp victims were secretly buried beside SS officers at a German World War II cemetery, outraged historians have revealed.

PICNIC BASKET BABY MURDERED - Baby abandoned in River Danube
A mother whose newborn baby boy was found dead in a picnic hamper with his throat cut is being quizzed by police in Regensburg, Germany.

WE ARE NOT EMU-SED - 7 Police Cars Chase Emu
Heavy handed cops gunned down a six foot tall emu after it escaped from an enclosure in Heimfeld, Germany.


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