WARNING!

This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.

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RSS FeedGermany in Focus, page 49

  • Mug Punters
    Oktoberfest beer festival officials say nearly 100,000 one litre beer mugs have been stolen from the event in Munich, Germany, and smuggled out under coats, rucksacks and handbags.
  • Off the Hook
    Police in Munich, Germany, have announced a crackdown on brothels and hookers during this year's Oktoberfest beer festival. They say 204 prostitutes and 41 brothel workers have been quizzed and only one was arrested.
  • Crooks Sunk
    These dim crooks were sunk when they literally dug a hole for themselves trying to steal a 45,000 GBP digger from a building site in Goerliitz, Germany.
  • Police Five
    Police in Bocholt, Germany, are considering an application form from five year old Markus Maier who asked for a job on the beat during an open day.

  • Forest Family
    Welfare officials in Germany are searching for a family of six who are believed to be living rough in a forest because they feared their children were to be taken into care. Police believe the family could be living just across the Dutch border in Sibcolu.
  • Best And Wurst
    Secret scoffers have been running quality tests on sausages served up to drinkers at this year's Oktoberfest beer festival in Munich, Germany, say event officials.
  • Des Res: Good Transport Links
    Baffled bus officials are trying to work out why this double decker veered off the road in Julich, Germany, straight into an estate agent's office.
  • Traffic Jam
    A secret cargo of seven illegal Afghan immigrants heading to Scandinavia was discovered when a transit van carrying them into Germany crashed into a police car in Flensburg.

  • The Nth Degree
    A German student who has been studying medicine for 24 years is taking the University to court after they tried to kick him off the course.
  • Creep Show
    A rapist who followed a 17-year-old girl into a video sex show cubical and attacked her is being hunted by police from Hamburg's Reeperbahn red light district.
  • The Beer Hunters
    Booze inspectors have accused brewers at this year's Oktoberfest beer festival of serving up short measures to thousands of thirsty punters in Munich, Germany.
  • Swell Result
    More German men are blowing 4,000 GBP a time on penis enlargements, plastic surgeons have announced.

  • Wee ll Sue
    Teachers who banned loo paper from school to stop youngsters blocking the toilets are being sued by parent-governors in Wittenberge, Germany, who claim the rule is unhygienic.
  • Fin-ished
    Angler Dennis Eisenhower, 57, died when he mistakenly hooked a speed boat on a river in Schorfheide, Germany, and was dragged under the water where he drowned.
  • Bolt From the Blue
    Schoolboy Ben Weber, 14, is fighting for his life after he was shot in the head with a crossbow bolt while his pals played William Tell at his home in Ahrensburg, Germany.
  • Davey Jones s Lock Up
    It looks more like a banger from Davey Jones's lock-up than the terror of the Spanish Main.

  • Boiled Egghead
    Madcap Greg da Silva is cracking up after he world record winning hat with 1,000 eggs on it was stolen when he collapsed from heatstroke in Halle, Germany.
  • Swas-Sucker
    A motorist who claimed that hundreds of leaflets plastered with swastikas found in his car by were religious pamphlets from his Chinese Buddhist sect was arrested when a copy of Adolf Hitler's 'Mein Kampf' fell out of the boot, say police in Teisendorf, Germany.
  • Motor No-Way
    Three people died when motorist Bruno Schmidt, 81, drove the wrong way up the motorway in Dobeln, Germany, say police. Schmidt and two others in a car he his head on all died instantly in the head-on collision.
  • Chewdunit
    Police have quizzed a man's ex girlfriend in Braunschweig, Germany, after she snatched his false teeth and fled during a row over their break-up.

  • Gassy Beer
    Nearly 40 people needed medical treatment after a tear gas canister was let off in a packed tent on the first day of the Oktoberfest beer festival in Munich, Germany.
  • Sink Estate
    This unlucky car owner was in a hole lot of trouble when a water mains burst under their car sending it plunging down a nine foot deep crater.
  • Untrucky Driver
    Deliveryman Markus Bunder, 65, died after he was hit by a garden climbing frame when it slipped off his fork lift truck, say police in Ratingen, Germany.
  • Economy Drive
    Traffic cops added insult to injury when Ferrari owner Karl Eiger wrote off his 70,000 GBP F355 Spider in a 100 mph crash in Dusseldorf, Germany - with a 1,000 fine for dangerous driving.

  • Snails Pace
    Rush hour traffic was left crawling in Bayreuth, Germany, after a snail got into a set of traffic lights and caused a short circuit with its slime trail, say police.
  • Cleaned Out
    An honest loo cleaner who handed in 130,000 GBP in cash she found in a train station's lavatories has been told she won't be able to spend a penny of a reward - because the notes are all fake.
  • Lit Up
    Squiffy cyclist Paul Nussbaum, 37, was arrested for drink driving after he called police in Coburg, Germany, to report that a lamp-post built in the middle of the street had caused him to have an accident. Blood tests showed he was eight times over the limit.
  • Kim Petras Chosen For Playstation DanceStar Party
    Sex change pop singer Kim Petras will present dance moves to her latest song on the new Playstation game DanceStar Party released next month (October).

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Latest News

 

How Boris Becker Was Brougt Low by Cheap TV stunt
Three-time Wimbledon tennis ace Boris Becker has been accused of making himself into a laughing stock by taking part in a cheap publicity stunt this weekend to promote his new book "Life Is Not a Game". The stunt included having a giant bow with two fly swats strapped to his head to play table tennis.

GRIN AND BEAR IT - Brown Bears At The Dentist
With toothache in choppers this size, these brown bears at a German wildlife park had every right to be a bit grizzly.

FORK THAT - Worker turns Fork Lift Into Jousting Lance
German police are investigating after a hyper market worker turned his forklift truck into a jousting device and attempted to spear a fellow worker after a row.

DIRTY THIRTY - Fake Euro Note Warning By Cops
A German corner shop owner saw some of his profits go up in smoke after he accepted payment for a pack of cigarettes with this non-existent 30 Euro note.

MURDER MYSTERY: Did Killer Confess in Novel?
Fugitive Norbert Wieland, 66, has been on the run since his girlfriend Bettina Polzer's body was found at her apartment in Furstenfeldbruck, Germany.

WHITE BLAM MAN - Brit Cheats Death By Seconds in Crane Smash
A British white van man cheated death by seconds in Germany when a falling 130 crane arm cut his truck in half.

UNTRUCKY BREAK: Thief Facing Justice
This smug looking truck thief will soon be facing justice - after speed cameras caught him fleeing the scene in Sarstedt, Germany.

NAZI SHOCK: Death Camp Victims Buried Beside SS Officers
Nazi death camp victims were secretly buried beside SS officers at a German World War II cemetery, outraged historians have revealed.

PICNIC BASKET BABY MURDERED - Baby abandoned in River Danube
A mother whose newborn baby boy was found dead in a picnic hamper with his throat cut is being quizzed by police in Regensburg, Germany.

WE ARE NOT EMU-SED - 7 Police Cars Chase Emu
Heavy handed cops gunned down a six foot tall emu after it escaped from an enclosure in Heimfeld, Germany.

 


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