This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.



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Bulls Eye

A Scottish Highland bull that fled by breaking through the wall and running off after it smelt blood at an abattoir had a short lived escape after he was shot dead by police. Learning the lessons from neighbouring Germany where police spent tens of thousands attempting to round up a runaway cow Yvonne that went on the run for 98 days- Swiss police at Riesch in the canton of Zug decided they didn't have time to waste. Instead a police marksmen shot the animal in the head and the body was then carried back to the abattoir. A police spokesman Joe Müller said: "It was due to be killed anyway, and as they escaped animal was not far away from the school and had wicked looking horns we decided we didn't want to take any charges. There was also busy road nearby and we didn't want an accident with a vehicle." Yvonne meanwhile was caught by animal rights campaigners and put out to pasture at an animal sanctuary in the Austrian Alps just outside the city of Salzburg. A Hollywood movie is now being made about her bid for freedom but for the Scottish bull there was no such happy ending.

German Herald

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