This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.
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12. 05. 12. - 11:00
A Scottish Highland bull that fled by breaking through the wall and running off after it smelt blood at an abattoir had a short lived escape after he was shot dead by police. Learning the lessons from neighbouring Germany where police spent tens of thousands attempting to round up a runaway cow Yvonne that went on the run for 98 days- Swiss police at Riesch in the canton of Zug decided they didn't have time to waste. Instead a police marksmen shot the animal in the head and the body was then carried back to the abattoir. A police spokesman Joe Müller said: "It was due to be killed anyway, and as they escaped animal was not far away from the school and had wicked looking horns we decided we didn't want to take any charges. There was also busy road nearby and we didn't want an accident with a vehicle." Yvonne meanwhile was caught by animal rights campaigners and put out to pasture at an animal sanctuary in the Austrian Alps just outside the city of Salzburg. A Hollywood movie is now being made about her bid for freedom but for the Scottish bull there was no such happy ending.
GRIN AND BEAR IT - Brown Bears At The Dentist
With toothache in choppers this size, these brown bears at a German wildlife park had every right to be a bit grizzly.
FORK THAT - Worker turns Fork Lift Into Jousting Lance
German police are investigating after a hyper market worker turned his forklift truck into a jousting device and attempted to spear a fellow worker after a row.
DIRTY THIRTY - Fake Euro Note Warning By Cops
A German corner shop owner saw some of his profits go up in smoke after he accepted payment for a pack of cigarettes with this non-existent 30 Euro note.
MURDER MYSTERY: Did Killer Confess in Novel?
Fugitive Norbert Wieland, 66, has been on the run since his girlfriend Bettina Polzer's body was found at her apartment in Furstenfeldbruck, Germany.
WHITE BLAM MAN - Brit Cheats Death By Seconds in Crane Smash
A British white van man cheated death by seconds in Germany when a falling 130 crane arm cut his truck in half.
UNTRUCKY BREAK: Thief Facing Justice
This smug looking truck thief will soon be facing justice - after speed cameras caught him fleeing the scene in Sarstedt, Germany.
NAZI SHOCK: Death Camp Victims Buried Beside SS Officers
Nazi death camp victims were secretly buried beside SS officers at a German World War II cemetery, outraged historians have revealed.
PICNIC BASKET BABY MURDERED - Baby abandoned in River Danube
A mother whose newborn baby boy was found dead in a picnic hamper with his throat cut is being quizzed by police in Regensburg, Germany.
WE ARE NOT EMU-SED - 7 Police Cars Chase Emu
Heavy handed cops gunned down a six foot tall emu after it escaped from an enclosure in Heimfeld, Germany.
BUNNY SPOILER: Bieber Playmate Demoted
A Playboy bunny girl who met teen sensation Justin Beiber privately at a hotel after a show has been disciplined by bosses in Cologne, Germany.
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