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This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.

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Cow the Heck Did I Get In Here?

This mad cow looks udderly at home as she settles down by the sofa after crashing into a kitchen in Quickborn, Germany.

Police say the beast - a stray from a neighbouring farm - had probably seen her own reflection in the glass and then came crashing into the house to meet her opposite number.

Neighbours who heard the glass smash thought their elderly neighbour who was not at home at the time had been burgled, and called police.

When they arrived she was calmly chewing the cud as she chilled out on the floor, and they called in a vet.

"She was sitting beside a table and a sofa. She was very relaxed and at home and might just have been ready to ask for a nice glass of milk," said one officer.

Vets tranquilised the cow twice although the injection annoyed her and started her running again, but she only got as far as a neighbour's garden - where she collapsed into a flower bed.

She was then moved back to her field with barely a few scratches to show for her visit.

German Herald





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