This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.
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18. 07. 12. - 14:00
Germans fed up with the weather could be given State handouts to go on holiday.
Politicians believe the proposal will not only cheer up increasingly down in the dumps citizens but could also help the current Eurozone financial crisis.
Liberal Euro MP Jorgos Chatzimarkakis, of the FDP Party, said: "The terrible summer we’re having in Germany is making people increasingly depressed. Some kind of State bonus will encourage people to travel to countries such as Greece.
"It could be the start of an economic stimulus package. And if there’s one thing you’re guaranteed in Greece, it’s the sun."
The idea has support in the German parliament. Erwin Lotter, vice-chairman of the German-Greek Parliamentary Group, said: "It makes sense to offer some kind of last-minute bonus for holidaymakers to south Europe.
"It would not only help the German people, but also countries like Greece which urgently need a boost in tourism."
Michael Groemling of the Cologne-based German Economic Institute (IW) added: "Tourism is vital for the south European crisis countries. Their economies need every Euro. This is a good idea."
How Boris Becker Was Brougt Low by Cheap TV stunt
Three-time Wimbledon tennis ace Boris Becker has been accused of making himself into a laughing stock by taking part in a cheap publicity stunt this weekend to promote his new book "Life Is Not a Game". The stunt included having a giant bow with two fly swats strapped to his head to play table tennis.
GRIN AND BEAR IT - Brown Bears At The Dentist
With toothache in choppers this size, these brown bears at a German wildlife park had every right to be a bit grizzly.
FORK THAT - Worker turns Fork Lift Into Jousting Lance
German police are investigating after a hyper market worker turned his forklift truck into a jousting device and attempted to spear a fellow worker after a row.
DIRTY THIRTY - Fake Euro Note Warning By Cops
A German corner shop owner saw some of his profits go up in smoke after he accepted payment for a pack of cigarettes with this non-existent 30 Euro note.
MURDER MYSTERY: Did Killer Confess in Novel?
Fugitive Norbert Wieland, 66, has been on the run since his girlfriend Bettina Polzer's body was found at her apartment in Furstenfeldbruck, Germany.
WHITE BLAM MAN - Brit Cheats Death By Seconds in Crane Smash
A British white van man cheated death by seconds in Germany when a falling 130 crane arm cut his truck in half.
UNTRUCKY BREAK: Thief Facing Justice
This smug looking truck thief will soon be facing justice - after speed cameras caught him fleeing the scene in Sarstedt, Germany.
NAZI SHOCK: Death Camp Victims Buried Beside SS Officers
Nazi death camp victims were secretly buried beside SS officers at a German World War II cemetery, outraged historians have revealed.
PICNIC BASKET BABY MURDERED - Baby abandoned in River Danube
A mother whose newborn baby boy was found dead in a picnic hamper with his throat cut is being quizzed by police in Regensburg, Germany.
WE ARE NOT EMU-SED - 7 Police Cars Chase Emu
Heavy handed cops gunned down a six foot tall emu after it escaped from an enclosure in Heimfeld, Germany.
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