This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.
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24. 08. 12. - 14:00
Suspicious husband Thilo Friedrich built a home-made electric chair to kill his wealthy wife as she slept because he was convinced she was about to leave him, a court in Winterhude, Germany, has been told.
His horrified wife - a high flying banker - woke in agony as Friedrich zapped her with thousands of volts while dressed in a pair of ladies' tights and rubber gloves to protect him from the shock.
But judges heard that Friedrich, 42 - who'd modelled his machine on Amereican electric chair plans he'd found on the Internet - lost his nerve and turned off the machine when the initial jolt failed to kill his wife, who was not named in court.
"This was a complete surpirse to her. She had never even considered leaving her husband or a carrying out a separation," the court heard.
Judges jailed bank clerk Friedrich for three years for aggravated assault and ordered him to pay 10,000 GBP compensation to his wife.
He has also in the meantime been divorced - and his wife was given custody of their two children.
GRIN AND BEAR IT - Brown Bears At The Dentist
With toothache in choppers this size, these brown bears at a German wildlife park had every right to be a bit grizzly.
FORK THAT - Worker turns Fork Lift Into Jousting Lance
German police are investigating after a hyper market worker turned his forklift truck into a jousting device and attempted to spear a fellow worker after a row.
DIRTY THIRTY - Fake Euro Note Warning By Cops
A German corner shop owner saw some of his profits go up in smoke after he accepted payment for a pack of cigarettes with this non-existent 30 Euro note.
MURDER MYSTERY: Did Killer Confess in Novel?
Fugitive Norbert Wieland, 66, has been on the run since his girlfriend Bettina Polzer's body was found at her apartment in Furstenfeldbruck, Germany.
WHITE BLAM MAN - Brit Cheats Death By Seconds in Crane Smash
A British white van man cheated death by seconds in Germany when a falling 130 crane arm cut his truck in half.
UNTRUCKY BREAK: Thief Facing Justice
This smug looking truck thief will soon be facing justice - after speed cameras caught him fleeing the scene in Sarstedt, Germany.
NAZI SHOCK: Death Camp Victims Buried Beside SS Officers
Nazi death camp victims were secretly buried beside SS officers at a German World War II cemetery, outraged historians have revealed.
PICNIC BASKET BABY MURDERED - Baby abandoned in River Danube
A mother whose newborn baby boy was found dead in a picnic hamper with his throat cut is being quizzed by police in Regensburg, Germany.
WE ARE NOT EMU-SED - 7 Police Cars Chase Emu
Heavy handed cops gunned down a six foot tall emu after it escaped from an enclosure in Heimfeld, Germany.
BUNNY SPOILER: Bieber Playmate Demoted
A Playboy bunny girl who met teen sensation Justin Beiber privately at a hotel after a show has been disciplined by bosses in Cologne, Germany.
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