This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.
Read more >>
03. 09. 12. - 12:00
Police did not have much trouble catching drink driver Sebastian Beyer after he crashed his dad's Mercedes into the middle of an ornamental pond - they just followed the wet footprints to a nearby bus stop.
The 26-year-old had been living it up with pals at a nearby nightclub in Bielefeld, Germany, and when he left the club at six o'clock in the morning decided he was sober enough to use his dad's car.
But when he was forced to stop on the way home by a red traffic light he decided to try and take a shortcut through the nearby Kunsthalle art Museum – smashing down a fence and puncturing a tyre in the process.
A police spokesman said: "He was unable to drive out from the grounds of the art Museum because of the flat tyre, and also because his ability to drive was impaired by both drink and drugs - both of which he tested positive for. Because of the condition it was in the also decide like the wooden sculpture in the middle of the pond and decided to replace it with his car."
They said that Beyer deliberately crashed into the pond and clambered onto the roof of the car before slipping off and falling into the water.
The spokesman added: "The cold dip seems to have sobered him up and he suddenly started to get very worried about what his father would say. He fled the scene before police arrived but it wasn't difficult to identify him at a bus stop because of his dripping wet clothing."
Police said that the damage to the car and art Museum was over 30,000 pounds.
How Boris Becker Was Brougt Low by Cheap TV stunt
Three-time Wimbledon tennis ace Boris Becker has been accused of making himself into a laughing stock by taking part in a cheap publicity stunt this weekend to promote his new book "Life Is Not a Game". The stunt included having a giant bow with two fly swats strapped to his head to play table tennis.
GRIN AND BEAR IT - Brown Bears At The Dentist
With toothache in choppers this size, these brown bears at a German wildlife park had every right to be a bit grizzly.
FORK THAT - Worker turns Fork Lift Into Jousting Lance
German police are investigating after a hyper market worker turned his forklift truck into a jousting device and attempted to spear a fellow worker after a row.
DIRTY THIRTY - Fake Euro Note Warning By Cops
A German corner shop owner saw some of his profits go up in smoke after he accepted payment for a pack of cigarettes with this non-existent 30 Euro note.
MURDER MYSTERY: Did Killer Confess in Novel?
Fugitive Norbert Wieland, 66, has been on the run since his girlfriend Bettina Polzer's body was found at her apartment in Furstenfeldbruck, Germany.
WHITE BLAM MAN - Brit Cheats Death By Seconds in Crane Smash
A British white van man cheated death by seconds in Germany when a falling 130 crane arm cut his truck in half.
UNTRUCKY BREAK: Thief Facing Justice
This smug looking truck thief will soon be facing justice - after speed cameras caught him fleeing the scene in Sarstedt, Germany.
NAZI SHOCK: Death Camp Victims Buried Beside SS Officers
Nazi death camp victims were secretly buried beside SS officers at a German World War II cemetery, outraged historians have revealed.
PICNIC BASKET BABY MURDERED - Baby abandoned in River Danube
A mother whose newborn baby boy was found dead in a picnic hamper with his throat cut is being quizzed by police in Regensburg, Germany.
WE ARE NOT EMU-SED - 7 Police Cars Chase Emu
Heavy handed cops gunned down a six foot tall emu after it escaped from an enclosure in Heimfeld, Germany.
Top stories – last 7 days