This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.
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07. 09. 12. - 12:00
Beer festival bosses have busted a fake cocaine to be sold by barmaids in low cut traditional dresses at this year's Oktoberfest in Germany.
Businessman Wolfgang Stanek says he invented 'Wiesn Cocaine' - or festival cocaine - specially for the event in Munich, which opens later this month.
The sealed 5 GBP-a-time sachets contain nothing stronger than sugar and menthol, which Stanek claims give a natural high when punters snort it through a supplied straw.
He'd planned to sell the concoction to festival goers using busty models dressed in traditional dirndl dresses with tightly laced corsets.
But organisers want to ban the product, claiming it would distract from their beer and cause problems for stewards and police looking for real drug users.
"We don't want cocaine, nor do we want a sugar mixture which looks like cocaine. We just want guests to enjoy our beer nothing else," said a spokesman.
Gutted Stanek said: "We are anti drugs. Our mixture just gives drunks a little shake to wake them up."
How Boris Becker Was Brougt Low by Cheap TV stunt
Three-time Wimbledon tennis ace Boris Becker has been accused of making himself into a laughing stock by taking part in a cheap publicity stunt this weekend to promote his new book "Life Is Not a Game". The stunt included having a giant bow with two fly swats strapped to his head to play table tennis.
GRIN AND BEAR IT - Brown Bears At The Dentist
With toothache in choppers this size, these brown bears at a German wildlife park had every right to be a bit grizzly.
FORK THAT - Worker turns Fork Lift Into Jousting Lance
German police are investigating after a hyper market worker turned his forklift truck into a jousting device and attempted to spear a fellow worker after a row.
DIRTY THIRTY - Fake Euro Note Warning By Cops
A German corner shop owner saw some of his profits go up in smoke after he accepted payment for a pack of cigarettes with this non-existent 30 Euro note.
MURDER MYSTERY: Did Killer Confess in Novel?
Fugitive Norbert Wieland, 66, has been on the run since his girlfriend Bettina Polzer's body was found at her apartment in Furstenfeldbruck, Germany.
WHITE BLAM MAN - Brit Cheats Death By Seconds in Crane Smash
A British white van man cheated death by seconds in Germany when a falling 130 crane arm cut his truck in half.
UNTRUCKY BREAK: Thief Facing Justice
This smug looking truck thief will soon be facing justice - after speed cameras caught him fleeing the scene in Sarstedt, Germany.
NAZI SHOCK: Death Camp Victims Buried Beside SS Officers
Nazi death camp victims were secretly buried beside SS officers at a German World War II cemetery, outraged historians have revealed.
PICNIC BASKET BABY MURDERED - Baby abandoned in River Danube
A mother whose newborn baby boy was found dead in a picnic hamper with his throat cut is being quizzed by police in Regensburg, Germany.
WE ARE NOT EMU-SED - 7 Police Cars Chase Emu
Heavy handed cops gunned down a six foot tall emu after it escaped from an enclosure in Heimfeld, Germany.
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