Monday, 24. November 2014 - 15:11
This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.
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20. 09. 12. - 14:00
Modern talking singer Dieter Bohlen is being sued by an overweight Austrian after he was described as "The Monster From the Deep" when he was filmed walking on a beach where the star was filming a casting show in the Maldives.
Bohlen was filming the latest in his series "Germany Seeks A Superstar - Recall" when he spotted Herbert Paris, 69, swimming to the shore.
RTL viewers are told: "And now, horrific, dangerous and hungry - the monster from the deep."
Then Bohlen leans over and says: "He looks like a bottle of beer." His fellow judge Fernanda Brandao then adds: "Urrghh, he is also covered in hair, yuck."
The Austrian unaware he was being filmed only discovered later when he the show was broadcast and his friends recognised him.
He said: "I can't go anywhere now without people shouting out look, the monster from the deep."
He said he was unable to sleep at night without medication and was nervous about leaving the house.
RTL has already offered 9,000 Euros in compensation but his lawyer Josef Wegrostek says it is not enough - and the case is now due to be heard at a court in Korneuberg, Austria, on 19 October.
How Boris Becker Was Brougt Low by Cheap TV stunt
Three-time Wimbledon tennis ace Boris Becker has been accused of making himself into a laughing stock by taking part in a cheap publicity stunt this weekend to promote his new book "Life Is Not a Game". The stunt included having a giant bow with two fly swats strapped to his head to play table tennis.
GRIN AND BEAR IT - Brown Bears At The Dentist
With toothache in choppers this size, these brown bears at a German wildlife park had every right to be a bit grizzly.
FORK THAT - Worker turns Fork Lift Into Jousting Lance
German police are investigating after a hyper market worker turned his forklift truck into a jousting device and attempted to spear a fellow worker after a row.
DIRTY THIRTY - Fake Euro Note Warning By Cops
A German corner shop owner saw some of his profits go up in smoke after he accepted payment for a pack of cigarettes with this non-existent 30 Euro note.
MURDER MYSTERY: Did Killer Confess in Novel?
Fugitive Norbert Wieland, 66, has been on the run since his girlfriend Bettina Polzer's body was found at her apartment in Furstenfeldbruck, Germany.
WHITE BLAM MAN - Brit Cheats Death By Seconds in Crane Smash
A British white van man cheated death by seconds in Germany when a falling 130 crane arm cut his truck in half.
UNTRUCKY BREAK: Thief Facing Justice
This smug looking truck thief will soon be facing justice - after speed cameras caught him fleeing the scene in Sarstedt, Germany.
NAZI SHOCK: Death Camp Victims Buried Beside SS Officers
Nazi death camp victims were secretly buried beside SS officers at a German World War II cemetery, outraged historians have revealed.
PICNIC BASKET BABY MURDERED - Baby abandoned in River Danube
A mother whose newborn baby boy was found dead in a picnic hamper with his throat cut is being quizzed by police in Regensburg, Germany.
WE ARE NOT EMU-SED - 7 Police Cars Chase Emu
Heavy handed cops gunned down a six foot tall emu after it escaped from an enclosure in Heimfeld, Germany.
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