03. 05. 10. - 11:00

• more Krazy Krauts news
• RSS Feed Krazy Krauts

03. 05. 10. - 11:00

Postman Cat

HIS bride can only do light mousework and tabby frank, isn't much of one for a conversation.

But that hasn't stopped German Uwe Mitzscherlich  from marrying his CAT.

Because asthmatic feline Cecelia, 15, is approaching the end of her nine lives,  the 39-year-old package delivery driver decided to wed his pussy pal at the weekend.

"It sounds mad but I want to marry my Cecilia," said the bachelor who fell in love with her on holiday a decade ago when they met at the Baltic Sea resort of Sassnitz,.

"She has such a faithful nature," he added.  "We have slept together ever since we met.  Our hearts beat together in the night and we are always cuddling one another.

"I bet there are many married couples who are not as close to each other."

Because no register office or priest in the Fatherland would pronounce them husband and cat, Uwe hired an actress for 300 pounds to perform at their purrfect day.

Christin-Maria Lohri, who stars in German police dramas, performed the ceremony while Uwe's twin brother Erik was witness and best man.

Christin-Maria said; "I thought it was a bit of a joke but, goodness me, he had tears in his eyes when he said 'I do.'  The cat just grunted a bit."

Afterwards they enjoyed the wedding breakfast - fish with champagne for Uwe and the guests, fish and mile for Cecelia.

"We won't have a long life together because she is very ill," said Uwe.  "But at least she will die a married cat."

It is not known whether his driving licence will be affected by his passion for his pussy.

German Herald

Chelsea Thugs Target Champs League Final
Anti-soccer thug police have warned that a hard core of violent fans are heading for Chelsea's Champions League final against Bayern Munich on Saturday - despite British police issuing more than 80 travel bans on suspected hooligans.

Old Banger
A cabbie whose gas-powered car exploded just after he'd fuelled up survived with barely a scratch when he was blown clean through the open window, say police in Schwabing, Germany.

Scared Stiff
A burglar fled an apartment in terror when he came face to face with the mummified corpse of the of a woman who'd died unnoticed five years earlier, say police.

Dirty Politics
A grandstanding politician came down to earth with a bump - when a 40 ton digger he'd insisted on driving overturned on top of him.

Ewe Brutes
Callous art students who planned to behead a helpless sheep are being investigated by prosecutors in the German capital Berlin over animal cruelty allegations.

Wedding Lift
A serial car crook found with stolen wedding presents worth more than 150,000 GBP has confessed to pinching them from cars parked outside churches and hotels.

Hot Cross Huns
Naked sauna-goers were among the two hundred guests that fled when a sauna and thermal spa resort in Fichtelburg, Germany, went up in flames causing 25 million GBP of damage.

Wedding Crasher
Boozed up Stephan Pfeifer, 20, was a real wedding crasher after wandering into a community centre attic space to find somewhere to sleep - and plunging 30 foot through the floor to land in a shower of debris in front of bride Annett Friedman in Unterfranken, Germany.

Off Their Trolley
Staff at a Kaufland supermarket in Duisberg, Germany, had to apologise to customers after thieves made off with their entire stock of 150 shopping trolleys overnight.

Piggy Back
Dad Lucas Bergmann who was burgled and his his kid's money boxes and toys stolen while the family were at a New year's Eve party has had the lot returned - complete with an apology note from the thief at Neufahrn in Bavaria, Germany.